May Madness
This is the month of May, which means this is Mental Health Awareness Month.
Which means we should hold people tighter and normalize the wild dance that is called life. Because the closer you get to understanding your heart and your flaws and your soul, the closer you get to madness. This journey wasn't meant to be easy. But it also wasn't meant to be traveled alone.
“dive for dreams” by e.e cummings
dive for dreams
or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind)
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward)
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding)
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth)
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds
-before leaving my room
i turn, and (stooping
through the morning) kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were.
Fight. Flight. Freeze. The three common, normal responses to fear. They develop while you’re young and are put into practice as you encounter fear, surprises, and nightmares. They are put into practice for trauma as well. The idea is that as a human, you will encounter these things inevitably, even as a kid, but hopefully not so much. A bear will come and visit you at some point and your body will react. Fight. Flight. Freeze.
But what happens when the bear comes to visit you everyday? And your body is always responding? Always freezing or flying or fighting? Your body begins to form habits, and will protect you at all cost. Even when the bear isn’t around, you are on guard. The sound of a balloon popping, pen dropping, door shutting— all triggers the same. Foot steps walking towards you, make you start to breathe faster. Even though your mind knows you are safe, your body always thinks you’re in danger. The bear put your primal instincts into overdrive.
The bear gave you PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia, trust issues, an addiction, or a permanent sad face.
Mental Health has still not normalized itself into everyday conversations. We have stigmatized it so much.
I hope this month can be a reminder that we are all carrying “battered suitcases”. That we have all had visits from bears—some of us every single day. That some days, our shoulders hang heavier than normal, and that that’s okay. I don’t think it’s okay to let people stay silent about their pain. In fact I think it is a basic human right that people receive empathy and compassion. My philosophy is simple: When someone is on their knees, you meet them there and then you help them stand up.
I don’t know what it is you’re facing, all I know is:
your trauma/pain/battle/experience happened to you, not because of you
you will survive. things may not get perfect or even pretty, but they will get different. and you can make it there.
the world needs you here. not the other way around. and you would not be here if you didn’t have a purpose.
if you are breathing, leave your body alone. you are enough.
Here are some resources that I want to leave behind so that if you need them, you can share them or use them for yourself!
Mad Dance is a trilogy of provocative and beautiful short films that re-envision the way we think, speak, and feel about mental distress and wellness in today's chaotic world. These transformative films offer new maps for navigating madness with insight, healing, and hope. The trilogy includes the following films:
Crooked Beauty is an internationally acclaimed poetic documentary that chronicles artist-activist Jacks McNamara's transformative journey from psych ward inpatient to pioneering mental health advocacy. It is an intimate portrait of her intense personal quest to live with courage and dignity, and a powerful critique of standard psychiatric treatments. Poignant testimonials connect the fissures and fault lines of human nature to the unstable topography and mercurial weather patterns of the San Francisco Bay Area.
In Light, In! is a haunting, visual essay about the awkward and angry junctures where our culture struggles to manage its emotional distress. Images recycled from the 1950's-era educational films are accompanied by original compositions by world-renowned cellist, Zoe Keating.
For Shadows is a contemplative, multi-layered memoir that explores the process of coming to terms with one's shadow while unraveling the tangled roots of self-harm. The home movies of a child's formative years and an interior landscape of traumatic domestic memories are excavated and re-constructed alongside sound clips from archival mental hygiene films.
cover photo belongs to me